Do you ever find yourself upset with a person, situation, or just the world in general? Maybe it seems like nothing is going your way no matter what you do.
If you’re like most people, chances are your heart will start to close as protection from what is seen as negativity. But a closed heart just makes the situation worse … our ruminating mind takes over; we isolate; our motivation, joy, and creativity plummet; and we can barely see that gorgeous sunset practically yelling our name.
We so often want people to behave differently or situations to change, but what if we turned the situation on its head — literally — to get a different perspective?
After my father died, my mother spiraled into advanced Alzheimer’s, insisting on living alone in her home of sixty-five years while vehemently resisting moves or help. She called the police in a rage almost daily, believing that the neighbor next door was breaking in to steal cans of soup or her bra. My sister and I were at our wit’s end.
As is so often the case in these situations, sibling rivalries, and resentments surfaced that we both believed had been long forgotten. During one particularly painful hour-long phone call, we kept digging ourselves in further as we tried to get the other to see our point of view. Getting more entrenched, I had the idea to … go upside down — to put my heart above my head.
As strange as it felt, I planted the top of my head into the carpet and wondered what generated this weird-seeming idea. But within minutes, there was no charge to what my sister was saying. Then I heard these words come out of my mouth — and I swear I don’t know who spoke them: “When this is all done, it’s just going to be you and me, and I want to have a loving relationship with you and your family.”
What?! It was a heck of an end-run around my protective ego, and with no effort on my part except to move my body in a different way. A different perspective … from the heart.
When we’re triggered by others or by situations, we can become powerless and small, taken over by the hurt or the insult. Our heart closes. And when our heart closes, beauty, goodness, and the magic of this world becomes invisible. Our life becomes small and actually makes us more susceptible to future slights.
We hear this all the time: open heart or closed heart. But what does it actually look like? A closed heart can signal fear constricting us into a narrow view. An open heart can generate love and an expanded perspective. We can’t be in both states at the same time. We get to choose to either be in expansion or fear.
When our hearts are open, we walk with a lilt in our step.
We become curious and eager.
Our life can unfold with ease and flow.
Our energy is brighter and lighter and attracts others with it too.
We can access new ideas and new thoughts.
We feel connected and loving.
We have more vitality and zest.
Here are some tips to keep your heart open to the beauty and goodness around you right now!
1. Check your posture
Start by noticing your posture. You might like to put your hand on your heart as you do this.
Are your shoulders slumped forward or is your chest bright and erect? Is your chin jutting forward or is it softly relaxed down? What seems farther forward in space — your head or your heart? Which is leading you?
2. Physically relax
Consciously soften your shoulders, your jaw, your tongue, your eyes. You can hold your forehead with your fingertips and cover your eyes until you feel yourself relax.
Maybe allow yourself a little smile, which signals to your brain that things are not as dire as you might think. Take some deep breaths.
3. Place your heart above your head
If you have any medical or musculoskeletal issues or any remote hesitancy to put your head on the ground, let caution be your guide and try some alternatives.
You might lie on your back with a pillow under your spine to elevate your heart and put your feet up, maybe resting them on the wall. This can send a signal to your brain that it’s OK to relax, and to your heart to let it know you’re listening.
4. Be of service
Helping others is one of the fastest ways to open our hearts. It could be as simple as looking someone in the eye, smiling, and greeting them warmly.
Or sitting quietly and bringing someone’s face to mind who might need some love in their life. Spend two minutes focusing on them and sending love in whatever way that means for you.
Studies show that the act of sending others love and goodwill — rather than simply focusing on sending ourselves love — can actually produce greater feelings of peace and contentment within ourselves.
5. Get curious
What is this difficult person/situation trying to teach me? Asking this question can open the door to curiosity, which is one of the best ways to shift into an upward spiral and court our heart wisdom.
If you like to write, you can use this as a journal prompt and see what comes through. You might get insights about old triggers that are hijacking happiness. Maybe they are ready to be released.
6. Be thankful
When our heart starts to close, it can be hard to find something to be grateful for. It’s easy to miss the beauty when we’re closed. We can speak “to” those things that we’re grateful for, as though they are old friends, which they are.
I recently heard my young niece say to the ocean after a beach day, “Thank you my wave friends!”. We can do this too: “Thank you my house, my kitchen, my computer, my phone.”
See if you don’t feel a light-hearted connection when you get into a relationship with everything in your life.
In Conclusion
There’s magic everywhere, and an open heart can always see it. When we love with our minds and think with our hearts, the beauty, goodness, and magic of this world shows itself with zeal and delight. Try opening your heart just a smidge more today and see what happens.
Image Credit: Freepik
Diane Pienta is a creativity mentor, healer, forest therapy guide, and author. A former businesswoman, she was sparked by a cancer diagnosis to transform her own life and explore alternative healing, herbalism, yoga and meditation, which led to a new career in nontraditional ways of finding joy, inner peace, and creativity. She’s the author of Be the Magic: Bite-Sized Nuggets of Wisdom to Feed your Joy, Nourish your Soul and Open your Heart
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