We’re all familiar with IQ (intelligence quotient) and EQ (emotional quotient) but don’t forget about SQ (social quotient) — the ability to gracefully socialize in professional and social settings.
This isn’t just about being a “people person,” which often equates with being extroverted and commanding others’ attention. Rather, it’s about knowing how to connect with people in a way that makes for a mutually rewarding interchange.
Take, for example, the event planner who goes out of her way to help you not only with the issues related to your contractual involvement but also makes connections that support you outside her professional purview. Clearly, you would recommend her to others throwing a major event.
Or, think of the person who interviewed you for a position you didn’t land, but who then recommended you to someone in his network with an equally enticing job opening.
You would certainly feel grateful, looking for ways to return that good deed at some point in the future. However make no mistake, seeking one-to-one transactional benefits will lower your social intelligence quotient!
People with a high social intelligence quotient are less concerned with benefitting personally from lending a hand or arranging a winning connection.
Instead, they are simply oriented toward charitable acts that offer help or put others at ease. They’re assured, comfortable, and easy-going in any given social and professional situation.
Here are some ways to boost your social intelligence quotient:
1. Project poise
Those with social intelligence exude self-assurance without appearing smug. When you speak confidently, without worrying about establishing credibility, you don’t come off as trying to dominate, but as knowing your mind.
2. Be authentic around superiors
Those with social intelligence don’t fixate on titles. Even though your pay grade may be several times less than that of your boss, this doesn’t mean you have to act like a minion.
An authentic leader isn’t looking for team members who try to ingratiate themselves or who fixate on “impression management.”
A good boss prefers forthright people with social intelligence who will contribute to company goals by offering frank observations and ideas.
3. Listen more than you speak
Social intelligence means showing concern for others. It also means giving them the space to air their views. Your focus should be on drawing others out.
This means that you ask people about their work, their interests, and their aspirations and then listen intently to what they have to say.
People love to talk about themselves, and when you provide them with an attentive audience, they’ll appreciate you more than if you try to one-up their stories or attempt to turn the spotlight on yourself.
Also read: 8 Simple Ways To Strengthen Your Family Bonding
4. Make introductions
People possessed with high social intelligence know that one of the best ways to move forward professionally is via networking. Try to seek out and connect with people from whom you can learn or advance.
When you freely utilize your relationships to pair talent with prospective employers or mentors, you get to play the matchmaker who creates productive endings for all.
By creating good karma, you also help bring some into your interactions with others.
5. Gracefully accept objections to your ideas
Those with social intelligence welcome candid discussions concerning their viewpoints. While not afraid to advocate for your own ideas, your measure of humility and vulnerability will go a long way toward allowing others to comfortably provide you with helpful feedback.
Your sincerity and candor can also serve as an important model for other team members.
6. Diffuse confrontations
When witnessing a confrontation, having a high social intelligence allows you to offer a fresh perspective or find common ground between the two sides.
Often, when two parties are at a standoff, your ability to offer a compromise is the middle ground that will diffuse the conflict.
Also read: Coping Strategies: How You Can Build Resilience
7. Become the problem solver, not the naysayer
Those with high social intelligence show restraint. So often, team members get caught up in a loop of finger-pointing or fixating on what should have happened.
Applying your social intelligence will redirect the conversation so that your team can return to the overall goals and find a different pathway to success.
Offer the bigger, nobler picture and hold back from pointing out impracticalities in another’s argument. Rally enthusiasm.
Final thoughts
Cultivating a high social intelligence quotient not only provides you with more ease in your professional and social interactions, but you end up creating a lot of goodwill.
You invariably create the kind of social cachet that’s important for success in our very connected world.
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Vicky Oliver is a leading career development expert and the multi-bestselling author of five books, including 301 Smart Answers to Tough Business Etiquette Questions (Skyhorse, 2010). She is a sought-after speaker and seminar presenter and a popular media source, having made over 901 appearances in broadcast, print, and online outlets. Vicky Oliver is the Nonfiction Editor at LIT Magazine, the Journal of the New School Masters in Fine Arts Creative Writing, and teaches essay writing at the New York Writers Workshop. For more information, visit vickyoliver.com.
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